Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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