dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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