just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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