Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my shit smells like andre
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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