You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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