i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
