I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
