dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
