I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
