He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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