I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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