I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
