i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
