You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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