U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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