I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
