I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
