I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
