I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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