I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
