I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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