This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
