I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
