then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
