well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
