I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
