i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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