It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
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She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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