I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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