the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
