I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
