He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
