Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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