i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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