You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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