Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
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Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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