After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
