Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
