you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
