those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
