I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
