a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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