yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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