dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
