If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
please don't ironically join a cult
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