i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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