remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
