nut hugger
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
