Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
