i just google imaged poop.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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