Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
