Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
