Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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