If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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