I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
