the day after is always just damage control
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
