yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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